Delko Looks Like A Lady
by SaxiChick
Summary: Delko is a lady's man, what happens when karma gets back to him after he is 'killed? Speed is still alive I am in denial.


An: I am in denial! Speed is still alive! nods I love Ryan so.. I had to add him.. And don't worry Eric will be back, just not the Eric we know… Peace out! PS. I don't own CSI: Miami or Goodbye Charlie (which if you have free time read or watch funny show which gave me the idea).

Dude looks like a lady!

Chapter 1

Eric sighed as he walked out of the club. This was his night off and he was bored at the club already. Clio called him after he got off of work, she was free and wanted to see him. He thought about it smiled, a romp with her would take his mind off of things. He got into his car and took off to her house.

After the rendezvous Eric was laying in the bed, looking at Clio happily. That's when she heard the door open down stairs open.

"SHIT!" Clio yelled sitting up. "Get up Eric! Up!" She got out of bed and put on her robe.

Eric just looked at her and sat up. "What…"

"My husband is home! Get up and hide!" She said throwing his clothes at him. She peaked her head out the door and down the hallway.

"Husband!" Eric shot out of the bed and started to put on his boxers. "You said you weren't married!"

"Well… I lied!" She said throwing a shoe at him. She looked around the bedroom at the terrace. "Go out there and wait.. Kevin should take a shower here in a few moments."

Eric just looked at her and put on his pants and went outside on the terrace. He looked at the water that was a few meters away in the pool. He heard Clio welcoming the husband and wondering if he would take a shower tonight. He said no he wanted to get some fresh air. Clio said something along the lines of how about later. The door opened and Kevin saw Eric.

"Uh… Hi?" Eric said looking at Kevin smiling weakly.

Kevin looked at his wife and then at Eric.

Eric just stood there looking at them. Kevin went back into the house and pulled a gun from the night stand.

Clio's eyes widened. "Kevin, don't do anything stupid.

Kevin looked at Clio then aimed at Eric. "This is for screwing my wife." And he fired.

Eric didn't know what hit him as he fell over the railing and into the pool. Clio let out a piercing scream that woke the neighbors.

* * *

The team was called into CSI early in the morning. Sitting in Horatio's office Speed and Calleigh waited for their leader. A while later he walked in, a look on his face no one could read.

"What's up H?" Speed asked looking at Horatio.

"We just got news that Delko was killed last night." Horatio said sitting at his desk.

Calleigh blinked. "What? That can't be."

Speed just looked at Horatio. "April Fool's… Right?"

Horatio sighed. "They won't give me details. They won't let us touch the case. They do need Calleigh to run some tests."

Calleigh nodded and got up staying composed and walked out the door.

Speed looked at Horatio, keeping himself composed. "I…"

"Speed, why don't you go do paper work on the Parker case, I still need your report."

"H…come on… please let do something."

Horatio looked at him. "I'm sorry Speed. Go do paper work, I'll page you if we get a case."

Speed nodded and got up and walked down to the trace lab and just stared at the computer.

* * *

About a week after Delko's death, things started to get back into a semi-normal routine. A new guy had been hired, Ryan Wolfe, PD. Speed had spoken to Eric's mother and sisters. They agreed to let him pack Eric's things.

Speed pulled into the parking lot of Eric's apartment complex. Delko had locked himself out of his apartment one to many times so he gave Speed an extra copy of his key, just in case.

Speed walked up to the apartment and opened the door, keeping it propped open and sighed. "Well, I always hoped it wouldn't end like this…"

He looked around the apartment, it was clean to his surprise. He looked into the living room where there was a good sized TV with DVD's scattered everywhere and a few forensic journals laying around.

He walked down the small hallway to his bedroom, he looked inside and sighed. It looked like a tornado had ripped through his bedroom. "Man… don't make it easy for a grieving friend." he muttered to himself turning around to go back into the main room. "Starting this week, this place is going to get cleaned."

Speed sighed and went into the kitchen and looked in Eric's fridge. "Wow… nothing but beer. How did he live…" A sound came from behind him.

Speed turned quickly to see who was behind him, a Latina about 28 years old was looking frazzled in a man's shirt and slacks. "Speed I am so glad to see you!"

Speed just looked at her. "Do I know you?"

She smiled. "It's Eric!"

Speed raised an eyebrow. "No you not, I think you had to much to drink or you are high, please leave."

"Speed man, it's me! I swear on my mother!"

"No, Eric Delko died a week ago, he was shot!" Speed yelled at the woman.

"Shot?.. Yeah.. That prick shot me! But I'm alive right now!"

"Look lady.. You're crazy." Speed said walking toward her.

"Speed, it's me…. I swear." She said walking into the apartment.

Speed just looked at the woman.

"Speed come on man… work with me here! I'm a CSI, I'm good at my job. I've known you for a long time!"

Speed walked up to the lady. "Look… I need to get back to my life for a while, why don't you just go home."

"Because I am home!" She snapped. "I can prove it Timothy Speedle! You hate the fact that I dive in semi-infection inducing water!"

Speed looked at the woman. She continued. "I know you're your drunken tattoo, that one girl from Chicago, and that you came to Miami because you wanted to get away from your family in friends after your best friend died and you didn't want to put up with anyone you knew!"

"That's a lie Delko and you know it!" Speed snapped. He looked at the woman and sat at Eric's small table. "Holy shit… Delko.."

"Yeah.. It's me." She said sitting across from him.

"What the hell happened to you? They won't tell us a thing." Speed asked looking at her.

"Well… This girl Clio, real hottie met her at Canvas, we had a thing for a while, and one night her husband came home and uh.. Well.. Here I am now. Like this.. I woke up on the beach this morning feeling like I was hit by a semi. I still had my wallet that has money in it, called a cab and here I am now. Speed.. Look at me!"

Speed at started looking at the table halfway through the speech and started to chuckle. "This is karma coming back at you man. I mean you would talk about girls all the time. Apparently you pissed someone up there off and well… turned you into a woman." He started to laugh louder. "This is just hilarious!"

Delko blinked. "Oh my God…"

Between gasps for air. "You got the right idea Delko. You used women one to many times.. And now you are one!" Speed couldn't stop laughing.

Delko just through him a glare as the man just kept laughing.


End file.
